“Marriage is obscene in principle insofar as it transforms into rights and duties those mutual relations which should be founded on a spontaneous urge.”
Simone de Beauvoir
Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre: one a pioneering feminist, the other an existentialist scholar. This philosopher couple is perhaps the most famous example of an “open relationship” in history. Their unconventional love story challenged the moral norms of French society in their time, becoming the star-crossed lovers of the French intellectual scene in the 1930s.
Questioning Monogamy
From the beginning of their relationship, Beauvoir and Sartre upheld a free and open relationship: living separately, never marrying, and not interfering in each other’s lives. They even signed a “love contract” to ensure they could maintain relationships with others, with the crucial condition of absolute honesty between them. Beauvoir’s parents had what appeared to be a model Catholic marriage, which ultimately crumbled due to her father’s infidelity, gambling, and drinking. Determined not to repeat her parents’ mistakes, Beauvoir believed marriage meant the end of a woman’s freedom and refused to give up her independence for a family. Fortunately, she found Sartre, a progressive thinker who understood and accepted her views.
Lifelong Singles with Countless Lovers
Even today, their relationship style remains unconventional: maintaining a long-distance relationship for most of their lives, sharing students, and even lovers and sexual partners. Sartre was often surrounded by adoring women, while Beauvoir firmly separated sex from love, having multiple lovers simultaneously. She never gained any legal or financial rights from Sartre and was often labeled as “Sartre’s mistress”. Critics were quick to condemn Beauvoir’s defiance of traditional gender roles, yet seldom did they reproach Sartre’s infidelities.
Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre: were they lovers or rivals? This is a question.
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