I laugh so hard, HA! HA! I nearly died – American poet Maya Angelou

Not every smile stems from happiness; many serve a deeper purpose. In some cases, a smile can be a means of survival. Maya Angelou understood this profoundly.

“If you don’t understand Black culture, you might think she’s laughing, but in reality, she’s not,” Maya recalled about a maid she once saw on a New York City bus. This woman’s smile inspired Maya to write one of her most famous works. “She would simply part her lips and make a sound—ha, ha, ha, ha.”

What made this maid’s smile so remarkable? She carried two shopping bags, and whenever the bus came to a sudden stop, she smiled, when the bus slowed to a gentle halt, she smiled again. At that moment, Maya realized that her laughter was a survival mechanism. Maya once imitated the woman’s hollow laugh on camera, her lips stiffly parted as tears filled her eyes. The laughter: “ha, ha, ha, ha”, grew more and more desperate.

The poem, titled The Mask, describes the “mask” as a tool for Black Americans to navigate life in a harsh society. The poem was not just an observation of that maid; it was a reflection of a lifetime of struggle. “The smile is their response to an unbearable reality—this is the condition they endure.”

Maya Angelou, whose modern African American poetry has inspired generations, grew up in the deeply segregated South. Her life was filled with hardship, she survived sexual assault by her mother’s boyfriend, endured several failed marriages, and even worked as a sex worker to support her son. Yet, she remained a tireless advocate for the Civil Rights Movement, becoming a leader in the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. In 1993, she recited a poem at President Bill Clinton’s inauguration, cementing her legacy as a cultural icon.

(Translate from “The Mask” by Maya Angelou)

Seventy years in these folks’ world
The child I works for calls me girl
I say “HA! HA! HA! Yes ma’am!”
For workin’s sake
I’m too proud to bend and
Too poor to break
So . . . I laugh! Until my stomach ache
When I think about myself.


My folks can make me split my side
I laugh so hard, HA! HA! I nearly died
The tales they tell sound just like lying
They grow the fruit but eat the rind
Hmm huh! I laugh uhuh huh huh . . .
Until I start to cry when I think about myself
And my folks and the children. 

Photo source: cjonline.com

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